Dear Annie: I miss the close relationship I had with my sister
A reader is unsure whether she should talk to her sister about how distant their relationship has become.
Letter from "Left Out Sister"
My sister “Michelle” and I used to be very close, but things changed after her second child was born. She hardly answers my calls and only texts when I start the conversation. When we do speak, it’s brief, and she seems distracted or impatient.
I’ve tried to help by offering to watch the kids or bring meals, but she always says she’s “got it handled.” On my birthday last month, Michelle didn’t reach out, even though I noticed her posting online that day. A few days later, I checked in and she apologized, saying she “meant to” but was too busy. I understand parenting is exhausting, but it feels like I bother her whenever I reach out.
I’ve asked whether I did something wrong, and she insists everything is fine. I don’t want to make this about me, but I also don’t want to keep maintaining a relationship that feels one-sided. Should I talk to her again or accept that things have changed?
— Left Out Sister
Dear Annie’s Response
You shouldn’t assume you did anything wrong. It sounds like your sister is simply overwhelmed right now. Keep the relationship open, but don’t push too hard. Spend time on other connections for now—she’ll come back when she’s ready.
Author’s Summary
Sometimes loved ones withdraw not out of neglect, but exhaustion; patience and gentle distance can help the bond heal naturally.